What I Wish You Had Told Me When I Was Your Age

As told to Belton Young Professionals – April 28, 2010

Doug Dillard, creativity consultant and self-confessed serial entrepreneur, on Wednesday, April 28, shared with the Belton Young Professionals organization ife lessons distilled from a career that spans more than 60 years of public relations, advertising, publishing, fund-raising, and radio and television. Two lifetime achievement awards and numerous honors suggests his stories mightl be helpful as he tells “Things I Wish You Had Told Me When I Was Your Age.” Semi-retired but active in community service and as a popular entertainer, Dillard returned to his Bell County roots almost three years ago to marry his childhood sweetheart, JoAn Musick-Flowers. Here is the full text of his message, some of which was omitted in the live presentation because of time constraints.

Let's Swap Places for Today

I was green and shy and barely 17 when I entered Baylor University as a freshman in the fall of 1946. And I was much in awe of Dr. Pat M. Neff, who was president of Baylor at the time.

It was not just that I had learned about his extraordinary record as governor of Texas while studying Texas history in the fourth grade. Or that later I heard preachers talk about his exemplary service while twice president of the Southern Baptist Convention. I had also listened to my father and uncle talk of hearing his stirring orations at political rallies and Fourth of July picnics.

I asked for a chapel seat assignment right down front and center. I didn't want to miss a thing the man had to say.

When Dr. Neff stepped to the podium on that first day, he looked as if he had come to life from a color picture in a history book -- an erect, military, even god-like bearing, dark blue silk suit, long double-breasted coat, winged color and black, string bow tie in the manner worn by his Baylor classmate, Senator Tom Connally. And his long, silver hair, slightly tinted blue, curled up over the back of his collar.

As the crowd hushed, Dr. Neff grasped the pulpit stand with both hands and surveyed the crowd from side to side and said, "There is something you dumb freshmen must learn: Never let your studies interfere with your college education." He had our attention.

He spoke for 20 minutes on that subject, and it changed my life.

"Long after you have forgotten what you learn in the classrooms at Baylor," he said, "you will remember and continue to be blessed by the experiences you have and the people you meet."

Dr. Neff gave some very practical pointers about remembering experiences by tying them to their setting -- whether a building, a tree, a view, or a sunset. With some pride, he suggested that we glance at the silver dome and lighted cupula of Pat Neff Hall, which could be seen from any point on the campus at that time. "And years later," he said, "when you return for a homecoming, you will view it from that angle, and the memory of that experience will come alive."

As to the importance of the people we meet, Dr. Neff reminded us, "While you are here this year, some of the most important leaders of our time will cross this campus -- Artur Rubenstein will play a concert; and you will hear speakers such as Dr. Howard Conant, president of Harvard and father of the Manhattan Project that created the atomic bomb; the noted novelist Dixon Wecter, a Baylor alum; Col. James Sapp, Surgeon General of the United States, who personally rode a rocket sled to test whether a human could survive ejection from an aircraft at supersonic speeds. And Bob Hope and Spike Jones and his City Slickers will perform in this hall."

When our giggles wore down, Dr. Neff continued, "Don't just say, 'I was at Baylor when Artur Rubenstein was there.' Be able to say, 'I knew Artur Rubenstein.

"These people are as interested in what you think as you are in them. Often they are insulated by celebrity, separated from the people. Just walk up to them, stick out your hand and say, 'Hi, I'm Slime So-and-so!'

"Now, look around you," he said. "Go ahead, I'll wait."

There was an uneasy shuffle as we gawked at our neighbors.

"In less time than you know," he said, "those classmates whom you saw will be the leaders of our nation in government, business, medicine, religion ... Don't just say, 'I was at Baylor when so-and-so was there.' Be able to say, 'I knew so-and-so when I was at Baylor.'"

When the words and the ovation had ended, "That Good Ol' Baylor Line" had been sung, I floated out the front doors of Waco Hall, marched straight past Judge Baylor's statue and headed for Pat Neff Hall. I went straight to the president's secretary and announced, "I want to arrange an appointment with Dr. Neff!"

"May I say what the appointment is about?" she asked.

"I just want to meet him," I said.

When the day came, as I was ushered into the office, Dr. Neff stepped around his desk and strode across the room with his hand extended. "Hi, Slime Dillard!" (He could read my name printed on the bill of my Slime cap.) "What can I do for you today?"

"Nothing, really, sir," I said. "Except, I really believed you in that first chapel service. And I don't want to say, 'I went to Baylor with Dr. Pat Neff was president.' I want to say, 'I knew Pat Morris Neff!"

He threw his head back and gave a belly laugh. "Well, what shall we talk about?" as he removed his coat and settled back in his throne-like chair.

I began by recalling his accomplishment in establishing the state's roadside parks system. Then I told of our family picnics and church hayrides to Mother Neff State Park near Moody, Texas. "I know there's a story there," I said. And he told me the story of the old home place where he grew up and of his love for his saintly mother, "to whom I owe everything I have become," he said.

We filled the next 20 minutes with talk of many things that have been long forgotten. But I will never forget that encounter, and it turned me around.

For the rest of my days at Baylor, whenever I would see Dr. Neff walking across the campus, greeting others with a smile and a nod, he would always call me by name. I knew Pat Morris Neff.

I had more occasions to be close to him, later as freshman president and as a member of a quartet that sang at some of his speaking engagements. But for the rest of my life, I have followed his advice and sought out some of the greats of our day, not content to say I was part of the audience.

Some of those whom I have met have become fast friends, many have continued to open doors of opportunity, and all of them have enriched my life.

A wise old college history professor once told me, “Doug, a fool learns by experience. A wise man learns by other people's experience.

“I don't need to stick my hand into a fire to know that fire is hot. I just need to watch some other fool stick his hand in.”

If you can learn one lesson from my scars today, this time will be worth it.

But when I was your age, I wish I had been sitting there one day and you were standing here talking to me.

I Wish You Had Told Me That No One Was Going to Hand Me a Free Ride

I hate to tell you this, but … the world does NOT beat a path to your door just because you have a better idea.

My call to ministry at 15 was like an itch I couldn't scratch.

I knew it was not to be a pastor. Or missionary. Or minister of education.(Although along the way I served those roles and more.)

A couple of years out of seminary, fortunately, that vision came into focus. The bad news was, it was a call to the infant field of religious public relations.

There were no professionals except for a handful that served denominations and big institutions. There was only one course in Church PR, at Baylor University, and it wasn't taught every year.

I turned to one of the few professionals that I knew and asked for guidance in learning the field.

“Doug,” he said, “you can become a professional in anything you want to. All you need to do is live it, breathe it, sleep it, eat it 24 hours a day, seven days a week. In less time than you know, you'll ask an expert a question and 20 seconds into his answer think, 'I know more about this than this guy,'”

In 45 minutes I had with him, he didn't chart my journey or give me a free ride. He pointed to the entry ramp that put me on the right road.

For about seven years I used every event in my work as a laboratory of learning. I chased down every pro I could find to try to get to know them and learn how they worked. I stuck like glue to every one of them that would give me time.

And when I found that no one else was going to do it, I did it myself, launching my own religious public relations and advertising agency and publishing a monthly digest in church public relations and promotion ideas.

Luck is important. But the harder you work, the luckier you'll get.

Success happens when opportunity meets preparation.

And it's not going to be guaranteed because of the number of degrees you have or your degree of godliness.

Talking with a professor one day after a guest lecture, he motioned across the room spotting his top students.

“The sad thing is that most of them will wind up working for my C students,” he said.

The difference, he explained, was that the brilliant ones often tend to expect the world to beat a path to their door and hand them success. The others know that Edison was right when he said genius is one percent inspiration and 99 percent perspiration.

And nobody else is going to do your sweating.

A preacher tried to butter up a rich farmer: “With God's help, you surely have developed a beautiful spread here!”

“Yep,” the farmer said. “But you should have seen it when God had it by Hisself!”

I Wish You Had Told Me That Success Was Not Something “Out There”

The elements of success surround you everyday.

Success is not doing certain things or not doing certain things, it is a certain way of doing everything.

That dream you want to build is built brick by brick. And you make those bricks one act and one encounter at a time.

One illustration from the years of preparation for my communications career while I was still a minister of education. And one from one of my mentors at midpoint.

I was working on a stewardship campaign for our church, using a “canned” program furnished by our denomination. I wanted something better, more personalized. I turned to a very busy young professional who was News Director for the Baptist General Convention of Texas and a member of our church.

He came into my office one afternoon and in just a couple of hours turned out a first-class four-page newspaper.

“Jim, how can I learn what you do?”

“Well, you could start by sweeping floors in the family newspaper business when you were a kid like I did,” he said, “but it's a little late for that. “Or you could go to college and add a journalism degree or two.” (He knew of my call and ambition, so he continued:)

“But I'll show you how to make everything you do become a lesson.”

“You have to produce under the pressure of deadlines,” he said, “you don't have time for rewrites. The secret is to take every edition hot of the press, grab a cup of coffee and a red pencil and tear it apart!

“And every thing you produce will become an object lesson in communication.”

That was profound. It did more than teach me how to write and design publications. I applied it to events, organizations, and problems in general the rest of my life.

The most important element in every thing you do – and the thing most neglect – is the analysis and evaluation after the fact. Did it fail or underperform? Why? Did it knock a home run? Why?

That becomes the top memo in every case file on everything you do. That becomes your research notes for your dissertation on success.

The other story was a tip from the owner of the fund-raising company I worked for.

Dr. Mayes, the owner, and I were about to go on our first campaign trip. He addressed the subject of dress.

“Most folks on a trip like this will dress any old way and pack their good stuff in a suit bag for 'showtime'”.

He said to dress every day as if you are going to meet the most important person in your life. Dress for it, act like it even when you think no one is watching, and expect it to happen.

I can't tell you how many times that very thing happened. (And I found that you get better treatment from baggage handlers to billionaires in the board rooms.)

It also does a lot for your self esteem.

I know this is a different day, but frankly, “business casual” had tended to be interpreted by many to be “hippie sloppy.”

I Wish You Had Told Me That I Could Never Dream Too Big

I started my Ministry of Ideas agency in a garage office – not too far from the time that Steve Jobs and Bill Gates were doing the same thing. Nothing wrong with that.

Then I moved into a suite of offices in downtown Oak Cliff. Jobs and Gates moved, too. But there was a difference.

In my remaining years in that business, I always operated with the mental cobwebs of a garage office mentality and fought to hang onto full control. That led me to such stinking thinking that I didn't even get an accountant and learn the difference between cash flow and profit until I was losing over a thousand dollars a month.

Jobs and Gates on the other hand had the world in their sites and hired the brightest, most creative people they could find to help them reach their dream.

Have you ever toured the famed A.J. Armstrong Browning Library on the campus of Baylor University?

I had the privilege of taking a course in Browning under Dr. Armstrong. Or as I often say, I took a course in Armstrong under Robert Browning. The man was the epitome of Browning's philosophy, that a man's reach should exceed his grasp, or what's a heaven for.

It is capsuled in a line from Browning's poem, A Grammarian's Funeral:

That low man seeks a little thing to do,

Sees and does it.

This high man aiming for a million

Misses a unit.

A history prof later put that in cornbread terms: Why shoot for a hundred and, being human, it 70, 80, or 90? Shoot for a million and maybe hit 101!

I'm not talking about normal business planning. I'm talking about building the dream that drives and directs what you plan and do.

You can create and nurture your life dream one of two ways:

You can ooch up the scale incrementally, step by step.

Or you can be honest with yourself about what you really want to accomplish with your life and go for it.

These are contrasted in a story:

Just before I left my comfort zone as a minister of education to launch Ministry of Ideas, I was attacked by a case of butterflies in the belly because of the challenges I faced.

Driving along a Dallas street, I was listening to Paul Harvey's noon newscast.

He told of a visit with a Fort Worth insurance executive whose hobby was “instinct shooting.”

The first thing he would do with a new gun was to file the sights off. He never sighted down a barrel or through a scope. He shot by instinct.

“He aims,” Harvey said, “like a baseball pitcher aims, by intense concentration on the target.”

“In Oklahoma,” he said, “we called it 'shooting from the hip.'”

I got it. Immediately. The night before, I sat in the stands and watched my son, a catcher, pop his mitt and holler at his pitcher, “Put her there, Pitch! Here's your target.”

“In two hours' practice,” Harvey continued, “he had me shooting BBs out of the air with BBs!”

“He gave me a BB gun and started out throwing charcoal briquets into the air. And after a few misses, I got the hang of it and was hitting every time.

“He graduated to Aka-Seltzers. After a few misses, I got the hang of it and was hitting every time.

“Then he graduated to aspirins. After a few misses, I got the hang of it and was hitting every time.

“Finally, he graduated to BBs. And after a few misses, I got the hang of it and was hitting every time.”

Then Harvey related that the next week, he attended a conference at the Pentagon. “Surrounded by a bunch of admirals and generals with more gold braid and ribbons than I'd ever seen, I was excited as a little kid, telling them how I learned to shoot BBs out of the air with BBs.”

I pulled to a stop and wrote that down. Intense concentration on the target. And my target was much larger than a BB.

You get a firm fix on what God wants you to do with your life, and I promise you that you can achieve it.

It is said that the world steps aside for the person who knows where he's going. I'm here to tell you that they'll get behind and push. You'll run across some who will not only open doors for you, they'll blast them off their hinges. You'll run across some who will not only point the way, they will roll out the red carpet and sprinkle rose petals on it before you.

I Wish You Had Told Me That Nobody Would Hurt for My Dream Like Me

My final two years of preparation to launch my career followed a very carefully drawn PERT Chart, an early version of Critical Path Planning that guided the research that developed the atomic bomb and our venture into space.

I carried a presentation notebook that contained my plan with examples and market studies. I buttonholed every professional or influence center I could for one-on-one show-and-tell sessions.

I got lots of pats on the back, good wishes and found few detractors. I also got lots of promises for help and invitations for further talks.

Have you been there? Then you know not to wait around for callbacks with an ice cream cone melting in your hand.

Your dream is your baby. No one is going to hurt for it like you. You must take responsibility for every promise, every callback.

Follow up every meeting with a thank you that subtly summarizes what happened and thanks them for what they promised to do. Confirm every appointment after it is made. Reconfirm just before you go.

I Wish You Had Told Me That I Would Learn More From Failures Than Successes

Twice in my career I hit the wall, badly burned.

I won't share them now, not because I am ashamed of it, but because the stories are too gory and too long to relate now.

But I learned valuable life lessons from each:

First, you can get some of the worst advice from some of your best friends.

Second, while you're spending all your time trying to direct that big a8-wheeler full of money to your loading dock, don't let your garden wilt. While chasing really big deals on two separate occasions – deals that would have made me fantastically rich – I neglected the ordinary things that had been feeding me.

I Wish You Had Told Me That When You Have No Options You Can Trust Your Gut

There will come times when you come to a fork in the road – or a blind alley – and don't know what to do. No map. No road signs. You get conflicting advice from experts.

But you have a “gut feeling”. A “hunch”.

“Gut feelings” or “hunches” are actually the physiological expressions of the subconscious mind.

The subconscious is the permanent repository of everything you see, smell, taste, and feel. By definition, you can't call it up on demand. But it's on the hard disk nevertheless. And in God's wonderful machine called the mind, it signals us with visceral feelings that we can't quite read, and it sometimes influences our decisions when we hardly realize it.

As a praying Christian, I see another element at work in those “gut” signals. Out of all the bits and bytes on that mental hard disk, I can have a little help in the selection process.

Every morning before my feet hit the floor, I pray that God will lead me that day where He wants me to go. To encounter the people He wants me to learn from or mentor, to witness or minister to, to bless or be blessed by. This has been my habit for decades.

I cannot count the times those “hunches” led to “coincidences” that can only be explained by the God Factor.

You can tell it's a God Factor because the solution turns out to be totally unexpected best for all concerned.

You've heard of the expression attributed to Yogi Berra: “When you come to a fork in the road, take it.”

That's a true story, confirmed by one of his contemporaries, Jerry Grote, who was catcher on the 1969 World Series Champion Miracle Mets.

But Jerry also told the rest of the story, and it makes perfect sense.

Yogi had invited a bunch of players to a party in his home after an old-timers game and was describing how to get there turn by turn. When he got to a certain street, he said, “And when you get to a fork in the road, take it.”

You see, Yogi lived on a circular drive. When you came to that fork in the road, it didn't matter which road you took, you would come to his house.

Real life isn't always that simple. What do you do then? A couple of illustrations:

With barely a month in my post as Vice President of Mayes International, a fund-raising management firm, I helped land a contract to rescue a $100-million fund-raising campaign for Campus Crusade for Christ.

I had the help of a staff that included one VP that had been assigned to Eisenhower's staff by OSS to plan D-Day, the owner of our company and two former owners – a collection of 228 years of fund-raising experience.

In 90 days, we produced a plan that for $100-million first phase of a billion-dollar campaign that would begin with a super gifts run at gifts of $1 million or more and eventually role out into two other phases for lesser amounts by regions and states across the country.

Crusade accepted the idea, asked that I direct the campaign. That got me promoted to president of the company and changed my life forever.

It wasn't easy. Even selling Crusade staff was a challenge. It took nine hard months just to complete the case statement describing how they would spend the money to reach every country on earth.

Without delving details, there came a time a couple of years down the line where we saw that the machinery of such a plan would hinder, not help.

On a drive to deliver a draft of the case statement for Dr. Bright's approval, four of us – Executive Director and now Director Steve Douglass, the VP for Development Jim McKinney, Special Assistant to the President Robert Pittenger and I made a commitment to scrap the rest of the campaign plan and never stray from our first phase strategy to never ask for less than a million dollars from any donor.

It worked.

If I had time, I could explain why that worked. But my point here is that every one of us risked our jobs and careers on that decision made on that drive from Arrowhead Mountain to Palm Springs. It was a gutsy call, but we knew it was right.

The time came to announce to the world that Campus Crusade was going to raise a billion dollars to reach every country on earth with the gospel. Our planning team had spent two years developing a Case Statement that detailed continent by continent, country by country, program by program how Crusade would spend not one but two billion dollars.

We had assembled an International Executive Committee of 21 world leaders for the campaign and set a press conference at the International Press Club in Washington, D.C.

I had hired a prestigious PR firm to stage the event. We were in a dress rehearsal the afternoon before going through carefully crafted speeches for each participant. Dr. Bill Bright, his wife, and several leaders including Nelson Bunker Hunt, Roy Rogers and Dale Evans were on the platform along with a big screen filmed message from insurance tycoon and motivational expert W. Clement Stone.

It was a disaster. Nothing worked. I went to our high-priced PR specialist and he agreed, but suffered from cold feet exacerbated Since 1979 the "JESUS" film has been viewed by several billion people all across the globe, and has resulted in more than 225 million men, women and children indicating decisions to follow Jesus.

"Three quarters of all churches planted in the last decade around the world used the 'JESUS' film as part of the church planting process."by inflated ego and refused to stop the rehearsal. I went to my boss, who owned my company, and he didn't have the nerve to admit we were off-track. I went to Crusade's Executive Director with the same result.

I knew it could cost me my job. I knew it could throw a monkey wrench in the machinery of the campaign. But after Dale had ignored the script and rambled for about 20 minutes over her alloted 5 minutes and Roy had angrily refused to read from or memorize his brief statement, I strode down the aisle asking to speak.

“Folks,” I said, “I think all of us have been feeling this but have been afraid to speak up … this just isn't working like we thought.”

Many “amens” rippled through the room. “Would you give us permission to let all the good words about the why's of the campaign come from Bill Bright himself. That way we can loose these special leaders to speak from their hearts their brief testimonies of endorsement.

Sighs of relief and applause followed, Steve Douglass and I huddled over some notes and I wrote all night long. I slipped the final script under Dr. Bright's door at daybreak, in time for breakfast with the appreciative Roy and Dale.

The press conference was a ringer,.The rest is history.

Four decades later, every four seconds, somewhere in the world, another person indicates a decision to follow Christ after watching the "JESUS" film. That's 21,600 people per day, 648,000 per month and more than 7.8 million per year!

Since 1979 the "JESUS" film has been viewed by several billion people all across the globe, and has resulted in more than 225 million men, women and children indicating decisions to follow Jesus.

"Three quarters of all churches planted in the last decade around the world used the 'JESUS' film as part of the church planting process."

I Wish You Had Told Me That When the Going Gets Tough the Tough Get Creative

But that is a whole new session. You might want to hear it at some time in the future, for often, the answer to climbing out of a deep, dismal black hole is to shoot for the stars in a dramatic, bold, creative move.

The night before I resigned from a secure job in which I had security, prestige and a success record to launch my communications career, I was having cold feet.

What was I thinking? I was about to jump off the high diving board and trust that I could fill the pool before I splashed my brains out on concrete.

That night I was hosting a regional stewardship conference at the church I served. R.G. LeTourneau, the famous inventor, industrialist, educator and philanthropist, who made his fame and fortune building huge earth-moving equipment, was the featured speaker.

He was dynamic as he told about his meteoric rise to riches. But he confessed that he had lost everything … twice … along the way.

Then as he clawed his way bace the last time, he staked everything – his reputation plus ever dollar he could beg or borrow or promise – on one idea: the electric wheel. That released all limits on the size he could build earth-movers and propelled him to the top once again.(And at the time, he was giving ninety percent of his income to the Lord's work.

At a climax of his speech, LeTourneau paused, pointed right down at me as I sat on the front row and said, “And you know, there comes a time when you see a thing that must be done, and you just do it.”

The next morning, I did it. And I stand here in what is the twilight of my career in deep gratitude for that motivating trigger.

That night before he left, I told LeTourneau, “You thought God brought you here to give a stewardship message to a men's meeting. But God brought you here to deliver one sentence that I needed to hear.” And I told him why.

The next morning, presented my resignation and launched my career that has brought me to this day.

Let’s bring it home

Teaching, training and coaching creativity is what I have been doing for decades, often on specific projects and sometimes just for weekly breakfast or lunchtime creativity coaching counsel.

I am not retired. I just don't happen to have any active, paying clients since moving to Belton 31 months ago to marry my childhood sweetheart, JoAn Musick-Flowers.

I have been enjoying “living in the vestibule of heaven” as I've described it to my kids, spending most of my time doing for the several charities what I used to do to make my living.

I am considering starting one of my creativity cells on an invitation only basis. If any of you might have an interest in exploring membership in the cell … let's talk.

Full cell membership would require a modest fee and a commitment to restricted monthly members-only meetings and access to an online meeting service for follow-up counsel. Associate membership at a lesser fee would give access to two or three special-focus meetings each year and read-only access to the online meeting service.

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